It is Fall. A year has passed since I started writing this blog, and many things have changed. When I started, it was with the idea that I would discipline myself to write on a regular basis, in preparation for Something. I was not sure what Something was, but I knew I needed to be prepared.
As it turned out, Something was my first novel. I began thinking I might write a short story, and, well…things happened. So, that being said, I now look back on the time spent writing as a joyous and productive time; a cathartic and spiritual time that I thoroughly enjoyed. So much so, in fact, that I am in preparation for writing another novel. Things happened.
During the past year several important beings in my inner circle have passed away. The losses are, of course, immeasurable. And with each loss there is a transformation; we are not the same as we were, and apparently, we are meant to be ever-changing. For each of you who reads this, there are probably losses you have endured in the past year; and you have changed, too.
The Seasons are perhaps nowhere more dramatically evident than in New England. Autumn, brief as it is, shouts out with glorious color and vibrancy as her leaves dazzle us with their audacity, and then fall to earth and fade into obscurity. Covered under the Snows and Ice of Winter, their death nurtures the soil and prepares it for Spring and new Life. Summer bestows warmth and bright laughing days before she recedes into the inevitability of Autumn, again. Joni Mitchell wrote:” And the Seasons, they go ’round and ’round, the Painted Ponies go up and down, we’re captive on the carousel of Time”. So we are. Captives riding this carousel on the whirling planet Earth.
So what do we do with the changes? Fear them? Embrace them? Deny them? All of the above? I guess by the time you reach 65 years old, you know that we have no real choice but to accept them. These transformations are a part of the carousel ride, and we grow and evolve into the final products that we become through the changes.
I struggle, as do many of us, with Change. Never cared for it. I am a big fan of HOLDING ON to just about everything. It’s tough to LET GO. But, having been forced to do so, I am trying to find a way to accept it. Fighting against Change really hasn’t worked too well for me.
So, for today, I will look out my window at the bright red color trying to overtake the green on my Maple tree. I will realize, once again, that I am not in charge of the Universe (don’t you hate when that happens?). I will sigh, and let go of Summer. I will welcome Autumn for her brief and spectacular visit. And I will be a different Me tomorrow than I am today.
BarbaraBeardsley.com 